Developing a Positive Communication Style.

e2Have you ever stopped to consider how often we tell our children what not to do? The word “don’t” comes up pretty often doesn’t it? Surely a child would learn much more from being told what to do and how to do it rather than what not to do.

One of the greatest changes we can make in our parenting is to develop a positive communication style. The massive drawback with a negative communication style is that a child’s mind first has to focus on what not to do. The younger the child, the more difficult a negative statement is to process. The subconscious mind doesn’t naturally negate. It has to learn to do so. A statement like “Don’t touch that!” could be automatically interpreted by a young child’s subconscious mind as the suggestion “touch that!” as it ignores the negative “Don’t” and focuses on the “touch that!” part of the statement.

Furthermore, learning is a part of growing up and children will become frustrated by the don’ts, can’ts and mustn’ts continually thrown at them. This quickly leads to tantrums and willful stubbornness on the part of the child.

So as an example, “Timmy don’t slam that door!” would become “Timmy close the door gently!”

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