Steps In Developing a Therapeutic Story: (Part 3) What is causing the problem?

c32. What is causing the problem? Understand why the problem exists. Educate yourself as to the problem and known solutions.

Jimmy may have started to lie because he didn’t want to get into trouble. Possibly, in the past, Jimmy was punished harshly in spite of the fact that he told the truth. Whatever the reason, Jimmy probably won’t tell the truth until he has been shown he can do so safely. Before the lying can be addressed there needs to be some work done on developing trust between Jimmy and his parent. Remember: Children seldomly develop problems by themselves. Mostly their problem behaviour is as a response to something else. Often that something else is what a parent is doing or not doing.

Now you can turn to any number of resources. Doctors, psychologists, books and the internet can provide you with the information you need about the problem and its solution. Never use only one resource. On the internet, for example, you can read multiple articles and viewpoints to get an understanding of what you are dealing with and what the solutions may be. Once you have done so you will have a much clearer understanding of whether it’s a problem you can deal with. Sometimes there are medical reasons for problems that need to be checked out by a Doctor first. Always eliminate medical reasons first. For instance, bed wetting can be caused by chronic constipation or bladder problems. Have a Doctor eliminate these medical reasons first.

Also, once you have done your research you may find that the solution to the child’s problem lies within the scope of a professional child therapist or some other professional who has the expertise to help you. In my opinion, where safe and where possible, it will always be in the best interest of you and your child if you are able to help him. You will benefit from being in control of the situation while learning a skill and earning your child’s respect and trust. Your child will benefit from the amazing parenting you are providing. This, in turn, is the type of parenting he will provide when he is a parent.

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